Which is harder – becoming a wife or becoming a mom? The answer may be pretty straightforward for some but making the adjustment to any new role can be a challenge.
In this episode, we discuss how we made the adjustment to becoming wives and moms and the role that we found harder to adapt to. We’re talking taboos of not feeling that instant motherly love and how hard it is to be a wife after becoming a mom.
What We’re Sipping on This Episode:
Apothic White – According to Apothic’s website the White is “a blend of Chardonnay, Riesling, and Pinot Grigio” with tasting notes of peach, apricot, and floral.
We love Apothic brand wine, and although this isn’t our normal red, we do think that it’s a good white if you’re trying to step up to drinking a less sweet wine. It’s not a dry white but not too sweet either. Find more wines we sip on over on The Wine List.
Sasha’s Take:
Sasha will tell you that she knew from a super young age that she was born to be a wife. She considers herself the epitome of a “ride or die” and a die-hard Libra (the house of love and marriage) so adjusting to being a wife was super simple. Because of her hubby’s career, Sasha made sure to plan date nights and really become intentional about putting her relationship in the forefront. Because of all the drama of their relationship in those early days (check out episode 1), Sasha was able to make the transition to wife pretty smoothly.
What was hardest for Sasha was becoming a mom. Forming that connection with her son was a challenge. Most women fall “instantly” in love with their child and it’s not always talked about that it can sometimes be a challenge to form that bond with their new child.
Shara’s Take:
Shara knew she’d be a wife and a mom but didn’t have a vision of what that looked like. Life Sasha, she didn’t find it hard to transition to being a wife. And she actually didn’t find it hard becoming mom. What was hard for her was the transition of being a wife after being a mom. Shara took to being a mom pretty much as soon as she found out she was expecting. In fact, it was harder for her hubby to take in his new role of becoming a father and no longer coming first.
Because her and the hubby and not innately planners, trying to put their marriage first and take time as a couple has been their hardest transition. Shara actually says that both her and her hubs fell naturally into their parenting roles, it’s been harder to find that connection back to each other.
The Takeaways:
Transitioning into marriage means making your relationship a priority while also remembering not to lose yourself in your relationship. Talk to your partner about what marriage looks like for you. Date nights, traveling, setting expectations, kids, and even what sex looks like.
When it comes to becoming parents, and especially moms, know that every experience is a normal experience. It’s okay to not feel instantly connected to your child. It’s also okay to love them instantly. And it’s okay to fall somewhere in the middle. Ladies – there is no shame in postpartum anything! Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor and if needed, get help (or medicine) to help you feel like yourself again.
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Find out what we’re sipping on: The Wine List
Check out the show notes: www.swirlandsippodcast.com
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EP 12 – Becoming…Mama – Our Stories on Becoming Moms
EP 22 – The Wisdom of Our Mothers – How the Mother-Daughter Relationship Changes with Kids
EP 224 Raising Kings Part I – Raising Black & Brown Sons from A Dad’s Perspective
Hi! We're Sasha & Shara - the co-hosts of the Swirl and Sip Podcast! 