We all know that becoming a parent is not something you can really prepare for. We’re all left wondering if we’re doing things the right way. Not only does parenthood change us, but it changes our relationships with our partners.
In this episode, we discuss how having our sons changed our marriages and the things we hope to teach them as they grow. Whether it’s changing communication styles or breaking the cycle of toxic masculinity, parenthood has definitely changed everything!
What We’re Sipping on This Episode:
The Dark – The Cosentino Winery says The Dark is “super inky in the glass with deep aromas of blueberries, blackberries and plum…jammy notes are layered with black pepper spice and hints of herbes de provence.”
Our first red of the season and we are fans. It definitely feels more luxurious and is a great date night wine. Find more wines we sip on over on The Wine List.
We start the episode talking about how we saw our parents growing up, and the one thing that sticks out to Sasha is that she never saw her parents really do any PDA (public displays of affection). So as far back as she can remember, she knew that she wanted her child to know what it looked like to see their parents in love. She makes it a point to make sure Stokely sees her and her hubby hold hands, laugh, kiss, and have fun together.
When it came time for Sasha and her hubby to become parents, Sasha’s hubs took to it much easier. Sasha says that parenthood changed their relationship by making them slightly better communicators and express when things upset them.
Shara grew up seeing a similar dynamic with her own parents. When it came to arguments, her parents would let her fully express her feelings (including questioning why her mom would yell at her!). She often saw her parents resolve their problems but never heard “I’m sorry”. So when it came to her own parenting, she knew that she wanted her son to hear what true apologies look like.
Shara’s relationship changed after parenthood by amplifying her hubs insecurities in parenthood and their own arguments with each other. Issues that didn’t make it to the surface prior to them become parents were suddenly at the forefront of their relationship.
Lots of changes happen once children enter the picture. And sometimes that means going to a 3rd party to help resolve issues. Therapy is not a bad word! We’re all growing as people and therapy can help us grow into people that can teach their children how to express and resolve their own feelings and problems.
Talk to your partner about what values you want your children to have and try and figure out what that looks like before they arrive! Do you want them to see arguments, apologies, PDA? The way your children experience love will ultimately play into how they show and receive love as adults.
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Find out what we’re sipping on: The Wine List
Check out the show notes: www.swirlandsippodcast.com
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